Party in the USA

# 2 Miley Cyrus- Yes, that's right my loyal readers at the ripe age of 17 Miley Cyrus is Bones' second greatest American of all-time. Some may call this decision irresponsible, foolish and even unpatriotic. However, Bones will present a case on Ms. Cyrus' behalf that would cause Jackie Chiles to shudder and make believers out of even the most diligent naysayers.

Bones mistakingly stumbled upon Miley in a similar fashion to the way Christopher Columbus discovered this great land he now calls home. While preparing to go on his daily 15 mile sprint he shockingly could not find his ipod. Bones and the Mrs. had a dinner date less than an hour a half away so needless to say he had little time to search for the misplaced music machine. Tragically, it seemed your loyal narrator would have to think and take in his surroundings instead of listen to mindless music durng his treacherous voyage. However, his 12 year old sister was not about to let his travesty occur. As Bones stepped out the door she handed him a tiny, sparkling purple ipod. Her impeccaple timing could only be compared to that of Notre Dame.

Without a second to spare Bones grabbed the tiny contraption and pressed play while running out the door. He struggled to maintain his normal 3 minute per mile pace shuddering while the sounds of Justin Bieber, the Jonas Brothers and Britney Spears attacked his ear drums. As he approached the final mile of his route, which happens to be hillier than the terrain Napolean conquered when leading his elephants into cartilage, he needed an impressive performance to have any chance of avoiding the wrath of Mrs. Bones.

At this moment fate intervened and Bones heard an angelic voice utter the following lyrics: I can almost see it/ that dream I'm dreaming but/There's a voice inside sayin/You'll never reach it. In his state of delirium Bones could not believe the reality of what he was hearing. He could see the light at the end of the tunnel but there was the voice of Mrs. Bones telling him he couldn't make it and he would be chastised for making them miss their reservation at Arby's. Intrigued Bones listened on and was shocked at the relationship between the lyrics and his current situation. Every step I'm taking/Every move I make feels/Lost with no direction/My faith is shaking but I/Got to keep trying/Got to keep my held high. And that Bones did. He began to move his legs like his name was Shaggy and he just saw a ghost. As the unknown phenom belted out "It's the climb" at the same Bones reached the summit he laughed at the sheer irony of the moment. The inspirational words enabled Bones to set a personal best and Mrs. Bones devoured all 4 of her beef n cheddars at the scheduled time.

The next time Bones saw his little sister he asked who the goddess that sang that majestic song was. He was informed her name was Miley Cyrus. This is when Bones began some research and realized she also has a great song entitled Party in the USA, a television show and is the direct offspring of Billy Ray Cyrus. Watching one minute of the dreadful television show confirmed three things. It is the worst show of all time, Billy Ray Cyrus is still alive and anything that is that bad and still popular is extremely American. Helping out your unemployed old man is also American and Cyrus has certainly done that. So here's to there only being one person more American than a woman capable of convincing her dad to switch from a mullet to highlights, starring in a ridiculously awful and succesful television show and inspiring Bones to finish strong on every run he takes from here on it.