An attack on the coronary

Wednesday

Bones had a dream about the Pit Tuesday night. Although, he is running the risk of his not so loyal followers only reading the first sentence and repeating it to everyone they know this dream must be told. The dream began with Bones walking into a Golden Corral. When he walked into this cholesterol heaven it had turned into a Chucky Cheese. (You know how dreams are or maybe you do not and in that case you need to stop reading and get some sleep.) Bones thought he was a kid again as he frolicked in the ball pit, destroyed the masses in air hockey and set the new world record for wack-a-mole. He collected thousands of tickets as a growing crowd followed him around and stated that there was no Bones about who the best gamer of all time was (Hiyoooo). Your loyal narrator finally made his way to skee ball and this is when things got weird. There were only two skee ball machines, Bones had an opponent, and instead of skee balls there were heaping portions of food to be rolled up the runway. This opponent was none other than Mrs. Pit, the wife of the great eater. She looked Bones right in his gorgeous, baby blue eyes and in a hallowing tone stated, "Man meal is over. My husband is on a diet." At this point, your loyal narrator realized that in place of the holes that usually accompany skee ball was the head of the Pit. His loving wife rolled salad, fish, fruit, vegetables and other disgusting health foods towards the Pit and he consumed everyone of them. Mrs. Pit's scoreboard was rising at a dizzying rate but Bones did not hesitate. He began to pick up pizzas, sliders, subs, bacon, and other delicious foods and send them in the Pit's direction. The Pit did his part devouring every last morsel. Down 45 points, Bones was down to his final piece of food. He rolled a KFC double down sandwich toward the Pit's 50 head and knew victory would be his. The Pit caught the sandwich as expected but then began to choke. The violent choking eventually led to the Pit spitting the double down out of his mouth handing Bones and man meal a fatal blow. The Pit walked over to Bones in his #6 Heat jersey, put his hand on his shoulder and simply said, "it's over." Terrified, Bones woke up in a cold sweat and reached for his phone. There was a text message from the Pit that read, "$4 cheese steaks at MOJO's tomorrow be there at 5:30." He looked his favorite stuff animal in the face gave him a squeeze and whispered, "It was only a dream Patty Mayonaise. Go back to sleep."

Value of Special: The actual cheese steak special did not begin until 7. This obviously hurts the value of the special. However, MOJO's is on the campus of VCU and caters towards college students so there are only always specials. Beers were $1, wings were cheap and quarter pound burgers were only $3. Except for Beer, ("wasted stomach space"), the Pitt consumed all of these while waiting for the clock to strike 7. At the end of the meal he had polished off 6 wings, a greasy cheesy, (slider with egg and cheese) and 2 cheese steaks for $16. That is not only impressive but cheap.
Value of Special: 3.5 Bones

Taste: The food at MOJO's was surprisingly good. The wings were the second best Bones has had in Richmond (Cafe Diem's mutant wings cannot be topped) and the cheese steaks were above average.
Taste: 4 Bones

Service: It was actually a normal dining experience. The waitress did not get mad when we ordered in layers, did a great job on refills and made suggestions on what to order. Truly shocking. She also stated that she had been a vegan for 10 years and the cheese steaks were here undoing. MOJO's make this commercial happen...NOW!
Service: 5 Bones

Overall Experience: MOJO's is a great place to get a great tasting, quick, inexpensive meal. There menu allows customers to order a variety of different items and still pay under $10. They also deliver as far as their skinny tire riding, skinny jean wearing, skinny bodied delivery boy can pedal. Their only real weakness is that wings and beer places usually cater to sports fans. The two 15 inch, standard definition televisions with basic cable would not get it done for Bones during football or NCAA tournament season.
Overall Experience: 4 Bones