The Good Stuff!

#9 Kenny Chesney – There are only two kinds of people that do not like country music. The first are from indigenous tribes and thus have never heard such music. The second are the naïve who believe anyone who likes country is a redneck and refuse to give it a chance. These people can be overheard uttering preposterous comments like, “How do you listen to that yo? Real Talk B, every song is about some guy getting drunk, getting dumped by his girlfriend or losing his dog.” Sadly, Bones used to be part of this ridiculous sect of society. As a young wanna be rapper Bones used to utter some of these exact same fallacies. He believed country was only for the simple minded and faint of heart. Bones was taught the error of his ways the moment he was introduced to Kenny Chesney.

As a high school student Bones really did not do much. He shunned pagan activities like drinking and talking to girls and paid homage to his Omish brothers by refusing to get his license until he was almost 18. Bones’ weekends consisted of he and his friend, Shark, cruising around the suburbs and listening to music. While Shark mostly stuck to Notorious, Tupac and Bone Thugs he would occasionally mix in a country song. This would lead to the passenger side window being rolled down and Bones head being stuck out of it. However, there was one CD that reminded Bones of the fat girl in class not crossing her legs. No matter how much he wanted to look away he simply couldn’t. There was an unstoppable rebel force causing him to listen. As Shark continued to play this CD over and over Bones still pretended to be in utter torment on the outside but inside there was a peace he had only previously discovered upon conclusion of yoga classes. As he heard Mr. Chesney cover everything from summer flings, to high school sports, to parties, to heartache he realized that Kenny was the exact opposite of how he had unfairly characterized country music. This was not music about tractors, Budweiser and your wife running off with your brother, this was music about life. In addition, the music was uplifting and soothed Bones’ doubt during the duos dangerous voyages through the mean streets. Bones attended his first concert around a year later and has been living by the motto no shirt, no shoes, no problems every since.

In addition to opening Bones’ eyes to his favorite genre of music and helping him realize all his problems were directly related to wearing shoes and shirts Kenny Chesney secured the coveted #9 spot because he exhibits a bevy of qualities that make America great. For one he is extremely persistent. Chesney experienced little success in his first few albums but continued to plug away knowing he contained platinum magic inside his 5’4 130 pound frame. Eventually he came up with a few hits and the rest is history.

Chesney also knows how to throw a great party which anyone who has ever attended one of his concerts can attest to. He has managed to create an atmosphere at his concerts that resembles a frat party with 40,000 of your closest friends. For one night everyone seems to forget their differences, problems and bank account statements and love each other while drinking $11 Bud Lights. If that’s not America I don’t know what is.

Lastly, Chesney is a great decision maker. Not only was he able to get his marriage with Renee Zelwegger annulled but he is also constantly reinventing himself. He has gone from singing about his roots in a small town in Tennessee to his current life which focuses on the islands. Some claim Chesney sold out but not Bones. If the man released 10 albums focused upon small time living would we really still be listening? Instead of leaving that question to chance he has centered his music and his life on easy living in the Caribbean. One would think the fact that no one except him has enough to carry out this lifestyle would be problematic but it has not been in the least. People simply need an escape from their everyday lives and Chesney provides it. He has turned himself from a potential flash in the pan to Jimmy Buffet with talent and Bones looks forward to living in Kenny’s world vicariously every time he hits play on his I-pod for years to come.