LET ME SLING CHILE!!

When Bones first started his blog he never expected the accolades, fame and fortune that was to follow. He really just wanted to be able to write about sports while bored at work. But because of his abundance of knowledge in all aspects of life sports have been on the back burner as he has tried to advise his loyal followers with sorely needed advice. However, the majestic NFC championship game he witnessed last Sunday demands that Bones takes a break from making his readers better inhabitants of earth and getting back to his roots. It pains him to the bottom of his soul but he must write an entry out of reverence to the great Brett Favre.

Bones agrees that Brett Favre loves attention, makes his own rules and is overly dramatic 99 percent of the time on the field. He also hates it when the media constantly talks about Favre and then says that they hate talking about it as much as their listeners and viewers hate hearing about it. (What? If you hate doing something and your customers hate when you do it why would keep doing it? It's the equivalent of a nudist stripper wearing a bubble jacket at work) Because of his teary press conferences and the medias fascination with Favre Bones had developed an utter disdain for the legend that was bordering on unhealthy. Going into Sunday's showdown with the Saints he had forgotten how excited it can be to watch Favre. He forgot there is nothing like watching Number 4 rifle the ball between defenders and celebrate like a lottery winner from the midwest after Touchdowns. He also forgot how funny it was to watch him completely ignore his head coach and be the only football player ever to not fill his game pants.

Bones watched the game with five people his age he paid to be his friends for the day. At the beginning of the game no one seemed to care who won but by the start of the fourth quarter we all sliced ourselves Zach Galifinakis style to make sure we weren't bleeding purple. Watching, "the gunslinger run around like a little kid out there who would play the game for free" was the most fun Bones could remember having watching sports in years. Everytime Peterson fumbled one of my paid "pals" would yell "Damnit Chily let me throw. See what happens when I don't audible." When he got hurt Bones believes if Childress had the audacity to ask him to go out of the game he would have said, "Chille I aint coming out of this damn game. You hear me four eyes! I got enough electricity in this here right arm to light up this whole damn stadium. I could win this game from my knees if I had to. Just let me sling Chille. You hear me Chille, Let me Sling!"

When Favre hit Syndney Rice with a ridiculous throw to put the Vikings at midfield as the clock with two minutes remaining visions of a Favre vs. Manning Super Bowl teased Bones like 8th grade classmates after they discovered he super glued hair from his head under his arm pits to mask the fact he was a late bloomer. When they registered a first down at the 35 with plenty of time and time outs remaining it seemed to be all but over. However, Chille failed to heed the gunslingers advice on the next two plays becoming more conservative than the parents of Jenna Jameson would be if given another chance. After a 5 yard penalty Favre was put in a position where he had to make a play and of course he then threw the now infamous interception. Although it was a poor throw Bones believes Favre has recieved way to much heat over the last week for the interception. Imagine if the pass had resulted in a simple incompletion. What are the chances Longwell ices a 57 yarder. The argument that he should have run is proposterous (since he never does) and saying he should have checked down to the open man on the sideline is equally naive. On any given replay there is someone open, the problem is unlike the viewer at home Favre cannot always see when a reciever breaks open for a split second. Bones admits he ultimately made a poor decision but it could have all been avoided if Chily had not tightened up.
Bones cannot believe what he is about to type but he looks forward to a drawn out decision making process that ends halfway through training camp with Favre stumbling to the mike and saying Let me sling for one more year Chily, Let me sling!