DONT CLICK ON THE ADS

Bones apologizes for his sabbatical and promises to deliver a painfully long entry today. As you may have noticed the ads that all of you were so dutifully clicking on have been removed by my friends from google. My loyal readers were doing such a great job that my basement was starting to look like that of Scrooge Mcduck and it seemed I might actually be filing grillenwitgill.blogspot.com on next year's taxes. But Alas, apparently they can detect when someone is clicking on the same ad over and over and suprisingly frown upon such activity. But Bones will not let the selfish tycoons from google curb his dreams. Henry Ford did not give up when his first 19 attempts at the perfect car model failed. Nor did Dr. Evil call it quits when operations A through G were a complete failure. In the same spirit Bones will continue to blog while thinking of another plan to make some extra coin. Ever since the fifth day of blogness readers have been e-mailling me from around the globe asking, "What about the women Bones? Please give us five examples of the biggest chieffettes?" While I refuse to call anyone a chiefette ask and you will recieve. The following are infractions performed by the opposite sex that cause Bones to cringe.


Girls who are into sports: Girls and Sports are like Rick Majerus and the buffet at Golden Corral. They are both great on their own but when put together they often result in disaster. Is their anything more revolting than witnessing the quarterback of your favorite team getting blindsided by a blitz and hearing a female fan of the opposition yell "Hell Yea, Smash his guts" simultaneously? Not to generalize, but the majority of girls who are really into sports not named Erin Andrews are unnatractive, overweight and curse more than participants on VH1 reality shows. The following conversation ussually ensues when Bones encounters one of these "women" at a local watering hole during NFL season.
Bones: "I would really appreciate it if you would stop cursing more than Chris Rock and yelling Suck It everytime they show Jim Zorn. He seems like a really nice guy."
Overweight female Eagles fan: "Well (Sip of Bud Heavy), I would really appreciate it if you would go to hell!, (Bite of Chilli-Cheesburger). Eagles Rule!,(grab of groin) High Five!" (slap of boyfriend Sal's hand)

Groupies: This is something Bones has always struggled to understand. I distinctly remember watching BET as a young child and thinking to myself, How does Big Pun crush a lot? Seriously, why would attractive women want to perform deeds of an innapropriate nature with Biggie Smalls, Fat Joe or Big Pun and then call their friends to brag about it. Can you imagine calling one of your friends to revel in a sexual conquest of Queen Latifah or Missy "Misdeamenor" Elliot? The reasoning that women do it for the money is also rediculous. What proof or logic supports the fact that athletes and enertainers shell out stacks of money after one night stands? If this theory was true Wilt Chamberlain would have had to live off Ramen Noodles.

Buzzkills: This female Indian is miserable for one reason or another and feels it is her purpose in life to make everyone else feel the same way. If another person is excited about anything involving their existence on this great earth she is quick to denounce it as overated and miserable. If a person says they are going to Vegas she will respond that Vegas is trashy. If one is to state they are going to visit Europe for two weeks she will state that no one there wears deadorant, everything is overpriced and their are dead bodies in all the hostiles. Mentioning something exciting around her is the equivalent of falling in love with what you think is perfect girl only to find out she used to date Dustin Diamond.

Unattractive Girls that "just want to dance with their friends:" Let me first that Bones is not a bigot, does not judge people solely on their looks or consider himself a daper don. However, Bones does know his role and that is all he asks others to do. If when trying to bring back the hip hop hooray dance Bones recieves the cold shoulder from the pick of the litter he is completely fine with it. However, Bones does need to dance. So when he is rudely rejected by a group of less fortunate looking girls he is greatly perturbed. Hot girls know that they are being stared at and not so hot girls should know that at any second they are going to be participants in one of Bones's spontaneous dance parties. Fear not ladies Bones has just put in a request for This Magic Moment and his slow dancing skills will not disapoint.

Chief of the Week: Bones had a chief of the week picked out before he started the entry but down the stretch a dark horse came out of nowhere and snatched the coveted award. In the middle of typing Bones recieved a call informing him that a participant in the NCAA play-in game was actually named Chief. Thinking this to be untrue he switched to the debacle of a game just in time to hear Brent Musberger bellow, "They lob it in to the Chief." I immediately went to google images and found an actual picture of a player who can finally replace Chauncey Billups. I found a picture of Chief Kickingstallionsims. If their was some way I could get an all Chief NBA Jam team comprised of he and Robert Parish I would never see the light of day. Although, the last three letters of his name are confusing, his team lost and I can think of no circumstance in which I will ever see him play again he is my favorite player for the forseeable future. Heres to hoping that the 8 points, 4 rebounds and 2 blocks Mr. Kickingstallionsims averaged his senior year gets his name called on draft night.