Little Orphan Danny

Bones appreciates the outpouring of love and support he has recieved on grillenwitgill. For the next couple days I will be doing some much needed grammar corrections (figure out the difference between their and there) and try to add some new features to the blog. While I am doing this one of my brothers, (You may have noticed I always say "one" of my brothers or sisters. Bones is the oldest of 6 children. How my parents did not appreciate perfection and stop with me I will never know.) has agreed to write a blog. His given name is Daniel but he is known to Bones only as Little Orphan Danny because of the extreme case of paranoia he possesses. Since the age of 10 he has falsely believed our parents have a vendetta against him. Because of this he calls them by their first name and at one point demanded to be called Marcus. He constantly states our house "is not his real home" and he desires to leave the family. Thus the nickname. In spite of this the Notorious LOD is quite funny. Maybe not side-splittingly hilarious like Bones but funny. He is a huge fan of Andy Roddick, The Phoenix Suns and the Washington Redskins. LOD also is 16 years old and wears a top hat and listens to Frank Sinatra, so who knows what the hell to expect. However, the kids got heart and he's related to me so I am expecting great things. Without furthur ado I present Little Orphan Danny's first entry.

Hello, I believe Bones has already introduced me by one of my many names, Little Ophan Danny. I would like to get a few things out of the way before I begin. The first thing is that Bones is the puppet and I am the puppet master. I am Japeto, he is Pinnochio the only difference being he will never be a real boy. I have dominated him since the moment of my birth. As for my apparent paranoia I assure you that it is not without grounds. I am the least favorite child. My parents make me sit at a separate table from the rest of the family during dinner and I am forced to eat Oat Bran cereal for all three meals of the day. Sometimes, I am given the right to use the milk before its due date. Many times I have thought about leaving the house and going to live in the mountains. However, this escape extremely difficult considering I am tied to my bedpost at night. My lone joy in life is when I get out of the house on odd weekends. As an introduction into my multi-dimensional mind I would like to share with you a couple of my favorite sports personalities.

Putting my right hand on the clutch and switching gears I will talk about three of my favorite sports figues. The first is Patrick Ramsey, LOD's all-time favorite quarterback and the best quarterback in the history of the NFL. Just because he has never played in a playoff game or in full season means very little. He has a cannon for an arm and has been put in terrible circumstances. Let us consider his first coach, Steve Spurrier, the very definition of a chief. Ramsey's first season consisted of him dropping back and having less than a second on his feet before a cascade of defensive linesman would annililate him into the ground. It was more heartbreaking to watch than A Walk to Remember starring Mandy Moore. Now most people would have given up after this point and gone to live in a A Van down by the River, but Ramsey being the man he is, put his career back together like a chef would put together a well crafted omelet and can now be seen starring on the practice field for the Denver Broncos.

Number two on my list is Jason Williams, aka White Chocolate, the magician, or Luke Skywalker. If you are wondering about the last nickname, the reason behind it is that his passes were so surreal that many people just assumed he used the force. I can say with confidence I believe that claim to be false. Many people have posed the question to me, "Why is this man your favorite player? My answer would simply be that watching him play brings joy to LOD's heart. I am not actually allowed to watch TV but through ingenious planning I have found a way, while doing my 7 hours of nightly chores, to watch through a series of mirrors. Sadly, he retired before the beginning of this season. After a brief morning period of two weeks I resumed eating and drinking.

Last on my list and the final part of this three piece puzzle is Andy Roddick. I have followed every match of this man's career since I was but a young child. Another thing ,while humbling to say for LOD, is that he has better game with the ladies than I. His list of girlfriends includes Mandy Moore, LOD's favorite actress, and his fiancee Brooklyn Decker, not too shabby. Roddick's up and down career has brought both sprint around the house joy and walk through the neighborhood crying sadness but I love him all the same.

We have reached the end of the journey that is LOD's first blog. I will end with a little poem that I believe sums up the experience.

I do not know what the time is,
but I do know where my dime is,
I am drinking a Coca Cola,
and dating a women named Anola
Anola is so sweet
the other day she layed down a beat,
I moved to it with my feet
while reading a book
and crossing a brook
you see I was running after a crook
and now I see the sun is setting
which means i have run out of time
to find my dime.