3 Favorite Teams

Bones hopes everyone had an enjoyable and relaxing holiday season. Your loyal narrator's could not have gone any better. I got all the presents on my brief but logical list and my mommy even added a bonus to help me out with my cooking. If you want to dress like Bones does when he fires up the grill click here. I also got to see a bunch of my old high school friends, that I do not really like but always make me feel smarter, and spend time with my family. My only regret is that I forgot to include the always hilarious and original "see you next year," comment at the end of my last 2008 post. The fact that I have not been at work much lately has led to a lull in the 8 days of blogness. These empty 7 days will become part of the holiday and from now on will be known only as the period of perpetual longing. My friends at google called me seconds ago and let me know that my overzealous readers had clicked refresh a combined 3,333,333 times. Is it a coincidence that my three favorite teams was the next entree to be devoured on Bones' plate . I know my readers better than that.

Strangely, the current state of my three favorite sports teams is closely associated with good looking freshman that gain weight in college. While they all have strong roots and were attractive at some point they have slowly started to erode and have added the dreaded "Freshman 15" and in some cases more.

3 Favorite Teams

3) Pistons- The Pistons are like the hot freshman that gains 15 pounds in the first month of school and never gains or loses any weight the rest of the year. Yes, she still looks pretty good (they will probably be the 4 seed in the East), there are days when she is still hot (current 7 game winning streak) and you would still like to make out with her (I still follow them vehemently and Walter Hermann has smoother hair than any girl I have ever seen) but she is just not the same. Everytime you see her/them on a bad day you want to immediately start singing Track1 on the Righteous Brothers greatest hits album. The Pistons should still be good for awhile but will never win the title with their current team. Like the girl who stays slightly overweight they will continue to be acceptable but will eventually become irrelevant like she often does by sophomore year.

2) Redskins- The Washington Redskins have become the gorgeous girl who gains thirty pounds and then goes on a series of crash diets followed by a series of fast food ones. Some days she looks great and you think she has turned the corner (wins at dallas and philadelphia) and then two weeks later she is pumping the ketchup dispenser straight into her mouth (losses to Rams and Bengals). The reality is this girl will never completely turn the corner until cafeteria food is no longer part of her life and the Redskins will never completely turn the corner until Dan Snyder is no longer part of theirs. Fortunately for this girl she must only wait four years to get rid of her white whale while the Redskins will have to wait decades.

1)Orioles - The Orioles have become the semi-attractive girl who gained 20 pounds, decided she doesn't really care what she looks like and began having meatball eating contests with Mongo from Lamda in the cafeteria for all to see. They are an absolute embarrasment and their owner simply does not care. To understand the Orioles you need look no furthur than the recent Mark Texeira sweetpstakes. Because of his roots in Maryland Texeira may have actually considered the lowly Os if they had made a decent offer. However, they made a low ball offer they knew he would refuse, to try and convince their fan base they were trying. In addition to missing on Texeira the Orioles have still not re-signed Nick Markakis or Brian Roberts. The Orioles seem to get worse and worse every year and if they keep it up they will have to get a special ordered XXXXL gown for graduation.