4 Most Hated Fans

They say that you learn something new every day but when you have a mind as astute as the one Bones possesses ‘they’ are sadly mistaken because these days are few and far between for your loyal narrator. That being said, I was told today via blackberry from a loyal reader in Anchorage, Alaska that the 12 days of Christmas actually range from December 26th until January 6th. At first I doubted the validity of this claim but it has been substantiated by Wikipedia so all debate should cease immediately.I was confused, angry and for the first time on this crazy place we call earth a bit embarrassed. Then I remembered that this is my holiday. It is not the 12 days of Christmas, it is the 8 days of Blogness and these days can range anywhere on the calendar that I so choose. Maybe in Bones’ world 8 means 10, is an entity or something only I can fully comprehend. The point (besides the fact that I have fallen helplessly behind my own set schedule) is the 8 days of Blogness is Festivus and I am Frank Constanza. Let the carol continue.

4 Most Hated Fans

Mr. Negative: There is nothing worse than going to a stadium or sports bar to watch your favorite team and being situated next to one of these chiefs. From the opening kick this guy, or in the absolute worst case scenario girl, shares his pessimistic view on his “favorite” team with the rest of the world. In the expert opinion of Captain Negative every coach is an idiot and every player is awful but the majority of the blame falls squarely on the quarterback. Every incompletion is followed by an, “I can see that you should have thrown it to the tight end from here, You Moron.” However, Bones has to agree. If you can see that the tight end was open, on the slow motion replay, with an unadultered view of the whole field how can the quarterback that is trying to avoid four 300 pound lineman and gauge what the exact location of the best athletes in the world will be when the ball arrives not see it?

The players’ best friend: It is an unwritten rule of sorts that you should not refer to a person by solely their first name unless you know them pretty well. When a fan does this not only are they giving off the impression that they have some kind of personal relationship with the guy on the field but it sounds utterly ridiculous. If you do this or do not see a problem with it imagine a Georgia fan with a southern accent telling a friend about how the Bulldogs running back won the latest Southeastern conference clash. “When we got that damn ball back with 2:34 on the clock I knew there was no daggum way Knoshown was going to let us lose. Knoshown just had that look in his eyes that he wasn’t going to let me down right before he reeled off that 60 yard TD. That’s my boy Knoshown alright.”

The fan who needs attention: This fan seems to believe that the people who paid half their weekly paycheck to witness a sporting event came to him and not phenomenal athletes on the field. This ‘zany’ fanatic tries to draw attention to himself and away from the game in a variety of ways including: painting their face, reeling one generic line after another (“get off your knees ref you blowing the game) which is followed by a high five from one of his buddies or my least favorite wearing the jersey of a team that is not playing.

Pump up the volume: I am all for both being involved in a game as a fan and standing up during appropriate situations. However, it irks Bones when he has just settled in at a game and the guy in front of him turns around, begins to raise the roof and yells, “Everybody get up, this is a huge play, the guys really need you out there!” on the second snap of the game. This practice continues throughout the entire contest and this ‘super’ fan passes off people who object as just not wanting it bad enough.