7 Smoked Bowls

I know this is going the opposite direction of the Twelve Days of Christmas carol but I think it makes way more sense. The male character in this carol, known to us only as true love, is undoubtedly a generous fellow but he has the idea of gift giving completely backwards. You are supposed to give small gifts like socks, Starbucks gift certificates and Lions tickets first and then finish off with a bang. This overanxious amatuer comes right out and gives his lady a Partridge bearing Pear Tree. How can a fruit bearing tree that magically is able to make patridges stay inside its warm confines be topped? The answer is it cannot. The gifts on the ensuing days were simply forced seperation from his ladies time with the great tree. Bones will not make the same mistake as our giving but confused friend. The eight hours with Bones was simply an appetizer intended to tease my loyal followers and make the growling in their stomach even louder. I hope to get better and better each day and hope to give out a blog on Christmas that can be compared to that moment as a child when you think you have opened all your presents and your parents tell you their is a suprise in the garage. The feeling of opening the door and seeing a bike, fooseball table or in Bones' case, having your dad rent Anna Kournikova for a day is impossible to re-enact but I will try my best.



On the seventh day of Christmas Bones gave to me: 7 smoked bowls

(A daring return of the Travis Locks of the Week) YTD 24-22-2



December 23rd Poinsetta Bowl

TCU -2.5 over Boise State) Has anyone else noticed that Boise State's 10th year senior running back, Ian Johnson's, marriage is never mentioned. It was the story of the year after the proposal so where are the updates on the happy family life? The video clips of Johnson and his wife shunning juvenile collegiate activites and living for one another. I am guessing, but not rooting, that like most decisions during a heightened state of emotion it was one Mr. Johnson wishes he could have back. Call me crazy but the last thing Bones would be thinking after scoring a BCS game-winning TD to become the only person a normal citizen in the United States can name that lives in Idaho would be, where is my girlfriend I need to get engaged? One could argue Boise State has gone to running back by committee because the Broncos running back has hit the wall most great backs do at age 30 but Bones thinks Johnson is to busy editing the end of that play to concentrate on current games. The demise of the Broncos legend combined with the Horned Frogs defense will lead to an easy TCU victory. TCU 35, Boise State 14.

December 24th Aloha Bowl

Hawaii -1.5 over Notre Dame) Bones cannot wait to catch a glimpse Charlie Weiss wearing a Lei. Hawaii will win this game for two reasons: They are the better team and while Hawaii does not have any Rainbow Warriors on their roster there are quite a few Irish players on Notre Dame, and as has been true since the beginning of time, the sun and cheap booze will spell their demise. Hawaii 27, Notre Dame 17.

December 3oth Holiday Bowl

Oregon plus 3 over Oklahoma State) Bones really has no idea who will win but had to pick someone in what could be the most enertaining bowl game this year. I would not be suprised if the combined score in the game reached triple digits and I cannot wait to be a witness. Touchdowns scored will only be outnumbered by the ammount of times Bones yells, "I am a man, I'm 40," during the telecast. Oregon 71, Oklahoma State 67.

January 2nd Cotton Bowl

Texas Tech -4.5 over Mississippi) It is hard for me to believe that the name of the eccentric, pirate loving genius that diagrams the Red Raiders attack name is Mike. Guys like that are just never named Mike. If I had to come up three guesses of what his real first name is I would probably go with Albert, Dexter and Fred. This being said I think the arm of Graham Harrell, the legs of Michael Crabtree and the mind of Dexter Leach will simply be to much for Coach Nutt and the Rebels. Texas Tech 52, Ole Miss 38.

January 3rd Sugar Bowl

Alabama -10 over Utah) I can hear Saban's pre-game speech now. Men, we are big, young, fast and free. They are small, balding, slow and married! Bones believes Alabama's offensive game plan will go something like this, Coffee up the middle for 8 yards, the brother of the guy from two-a-days play action to Jones for 20, repeat. Alabama 34, Utah 10.

January 5th Fiesta Bowl

Texas -8.5 over Ohio State) Colt McCoy. ooooh say it again. Colt McCoy ooooh say it again. Colt McCoy ooooh say it again. Yes, I just made a reference to a heyanna with the voice of Whoopi Goldberg in my blog. Anyways, McCoy is a tiny bit better than Terrell Pryor and we have seen this story before. I propose that Ohio State players have to start with negative Buckeyes on their helmet depending on how many points they lose by in the previous years' BCS contest. Texas 41, Ohio State 24.

January 8th BCS Championship

Florida -3 over Oklahoma) I have made the mistake of picking against Tebow and his Gators far too many times already.

Tune in tommorrow as the festivities continue